16 weeks (or 17?)

this week, the cold really kicked my ass. i posted this on fb before but i really don't think i've ever felt this cold in my entire life. as my friends commented, it's probably a combination of 1) an unseasonably cold winter, 2) age and 3) pregnancy. it took me 2 hours to thaw after work on friday. i came home, ate dinner, and then ran upstairs and changed into sweats and sat in bed under 3 blankets. hawaii cannot come fast enough. it's sad because i used to be very good with the cold - maybe from years of playing hockey in cold ice rinks. but alas, my age is catching up with me.

i went to my OB for a checkup on friday and she said the results of my NT ultrasound came back. she said all the test results look great. she also mentioned that the OB at the hospital thinks my due date is actually 7/6, not 7/13 because the baby is "huge." -_- the next ultrasound at 20 weeks will confirm the exact due date. so i might actually be 17 weeks today, not 16. we'll found out in 4 weeks. the other thing that happened at the OB checkup is i got yelled at because i lost 3 pounds from my last appointment 4 weeks ago (although, it was up 2 pounds from my appointment with the pulmonary doctor 2 weeks ago). it's so hard to eat regular meals still, but i'm just trying to find things that i can stomach that have some nutrition. tonight's dinner was plain greek yogurt with granola and 고구마 (korean yams). but the big development this past week was i ate meat. i actually ate beef for dinner yesterday, and i didn't love it, but i also didn't spit it out. so that's progress. i ate thinly sliced beef with lettuce wraps and masked the flavor of the beef with gallons of sesame oil. works for lana, worked for me. :) hopefully i can start eating regularly soon. pork and chicken are still completely out of the question though. the thought of them still makes me want to gag.

my mom is coming on 2/16. i am so so so excited, and while i of course want her here so i can hang out with her, i must admit that i am also really excited that she can cook for us. having to cook on a daily basis for your family really takes the fun out of cooking, esp. when you are cooking food you can't even eat! sundays are my cooking days (and it feels like i'm cooking for hours and hours). i do my grocery shopping, cook a couple meals and also prep another meal so the cooking time is quick on the weekday i actually make the food.

today i cooked:
1. beef stir fry with cabbage and onions, and roasted cauliflower (for dinner tonight). the rest of the beef went into the freezer.
2. sloppy joes (dinner the next 2 nights for daddy and andy). lana will eat leftover soup that's in the fridge - i don't think she'll like sloppy joes.
and i also prepped a third meal of korean pork meatballs by chopping up all the veggies, so that on the day it's dinner, all i have to do is mix with the ground pork, tofu, eggs and breadcrumbs and fry up.

i am seriously considering hiring a korean nanny when baby #2 gets here to help with the cooking. i don't know if i can do it with working + 2 kids. if you have any tips on cooking, cleaning, juggling, balancing, tightroping...or more generally, just "how to get it done with kids and a job and not go crazy," please let me know! it's a daily struggle - one i'm glad to do and thankful for but you know, sometimes you just want to not have to pee with an audience or step on the same toy 5 times in one day.

15 weeks (delayed...again)

sunday marked 15 weeks of pregnancy. i guess it felt like i had just blogged and so i didn't really feel like writing again on sunday. i probably shouldn't be writing this right now but mentally, i am taking a snow day (even though i am still in the office). speaking of weather, i am so confused by the news. for that last storm on jan 3, there was so much media coverage i was bracing myself for a foot. we barely got 5 inches. i didn't even KNOW there was going to be snow today until the hubs said so this morning. i felt like there was very little media coverage for this storm, and now they're saying it's going to be way worse than the last one. don't get it. is weather coverage more intense when there isn't much going on in the world? like they have nothing else to report on?

so i'm 15 weeks now. i'm feeling much better - thanks everyone for checking in with me. as much as i am having a hard time believing it, maybe i do have asthma because i've been breathing much better ever since i got the inhaler, damnit. notable things for this week...baby is moving a lot more, or at least i'm feeling it a lot more. with lana, i didn't feel her until 21 weeks. i started feeling this baby at 10 weeks! i guess it helps to know what it feels like. i'm still not eating that well - i went through a big box of apple jacks in 3 days by myself. cereal is still my #1 meal, and i'm still anti-meat. i can have beef here and there but chicken and pork are absolute no's. i also can't do most korean food, which is usually my favorite. i think i've lost about 7-8 pounds so far. the goal is to not lose anymore. the other new thing is i feel like my body is stretching out more, in preparation for the growing belly. i've been experiencing a lot of pain around my thighs and hips (where my legs meet my torso). it's not that bad, but i feel it a lot whenever i walk.

one thing we've noticed is lana has been very clingy lately. she used to run into daycare without even turning around, but now she cries every morning. is it because of baby? i've heard a few parents saying the same thing. it'd be interesting to hear more stories about whether this is true or not. i guess i was skeptical initially because i thought the baby was not really real to her, since she can't see it and it's just a bump on mommy's belly. but maybe they're smarter than we give them credit for.

in other news, my hair was driving me crazy and i chopped it off. it felt like i was carrying a dead animal around on my head.

i will get around to posting bump pictures...someday. everyone be super safe in this storm please!

13 weeks, delayed

i want to try to post every week of my pregnancy, but this week i'm a bit late. i turned 13 weeks last sunday, but couldn't post then because i've been going through some medical issues that have been really frustrating and bewildering, and that have overshadowed the fact that i entered my second trimester.

since last thursday, i've been having trouble breathing. at first, it was more of an annoyance than a real issue, so i didn't think much of it. pregnancy makes you feel out of breath sometimes, so i thought it was normal. but friday i woke up and it was the same thing, so i went to my doctor. all the tests came back fine (EKG and bloodwork), so he wasn't sure what the issue was. he gave me a couple reasons that could be the cause (such as reflux and anemia) but he suggested i see a pulmonary specialist just in case. but then saturday i woke up and felt pretty good. i said to sh, "i feel better!" then ate a piece of toast. within 10 minutes, i felt a major blockage in my sternum/chest area and the breathing problems started up again. i self-diagnosed at that point and decided the breathing issue must be related to reflux, since it got worse right after i ate. the breathing and the chest pain/reflux got worse so i barely ate all weekend. sunday night it got so bad that we decided to go to the ER, but it was much of the same thing. all the tests came back fine, and the ER doc said based on what i said, it seems like it might be caused by reflux. he told me to keep taking zantac and to follow up with my doctor if i don't feel better in a week or so. i was so frustrated because as much as i kind of knew it probably wouldn't happen, i wanted some immediate relief. it is really exhausting to have to consciously suck in air every minute or so, only to still feel unsatisfied and like you didn't take a deep breath. side note, i am really scared of my ER bill, even with insurance. -_-

i emailed work on monday morning to tell them what happened, and stayed home to rest. i also made an appointment with a GI doctor and luckily they had a spot open the same day. (by this point, i had seen 3 doctors in 4 days, and i got weighed each time. my weight went 111, 110, 109.) the GI doctor said reflux can cause breathing problems, and that pregnancy definitely exacerbates reflux, but she didn't seem convinced that reflux would cause breathing problems consistently for 5 days. she said if the breathing isn't better in 2 days, go see a pulmonary specialist. my stomach/reflux issues were a bit better by monday so i was finally able to eat a little more.

the breathing was pretty much the same the rest of monday and tuesday so i scheduled an appointment with a pulmonary specialist on thursday. wednesday i felt a little better, and this morning, i felt a lot better, but i still went to the pulmonary specialist. i gave him the same summary that i gave the other doctors. he asked a lot of questions, then asked me to take a breath test. that was exhausting. it's just breathing into a tube over and over really hard. i was so light-headed by the end of it. the tech sent the report over to the doctor, and i went to his office and sat down. he said, "so. you have...asthma." !!! what!? i said "what??" he told me it appears that i've had it for some time, and it's very mild, but that it must have been dormant for my entire life since i've never experienced breathing problems before. he asked me if i'm active. i told him i was going once a week to the gym until i got pregnant because any strenuous activity made me nauseous. he asked me whether i was active as a kid, and i said i played a lot of ice hockey. he said ice hockey players have the best lungs and that it must've temporarily "cured" my asthma - in that my lungs were in such good shape as a kid that the asthma never had a chance to surface. however, he said it seems that there was basically a perfect storm of events in the recent weeks that led to the asthma showing itself for the first time - working a lot, stress, pregnancy, the cold weather, not exercising, etc. etc. i used to feel bad for those kids in elementary school who walked around with inhalers and were wheezing by the end of gym class. now that's me! :( he gave me an inhaler to use and told me to check in with him in two weeks. he said he's pretty confident this is the reason for my breathing troubles, but that there's always a chance it's not. i guess i'm glad to know the likely reason for my past week of breathing woes, but i was definitely blindsided by this find. i told my mom and after lamenting it for a while, she said, "so glad you guys played hockey. lana must play hockey!" i mean, duh.

in other news, we went to our first ultrasound yesterday. the doctor said everything looks good. we're so thankful for our healthy growing baby. i also will give said baby much hell in his/her teenage years about the pregnancy i went through for him/her. this pregnancy has been so much harder than the first. now that i'm in my second trimester, i hope to eat more normally soon. the nausea has definitely gotten better. maybe i'll start posting bump pictures next week...

#2.

so, i'm pregnant. again. i am 12 weeks pregnant now. in theory, i am happy about this development. i see lana and how much joy she brings us and another lana seems like an awesome idea. but on a day-to-day basis, it's not so fun. i think God makes you forget things related to pregnancy/childbirth on purpose or else everyone would only have one kid and the human race would be in jeopardy. even though my first time through this doesn't seem like it was that long ago, after getting pregnant again i realized that i forgot a lot of things, namely, how sucky pregnancy can be. my first trimesters are so terrible. tons of morning sickness (nausea, gagging, dry heaving), extreme fatigue, complete loss of appetite, weight loss, etc. it's really awful. now that i'm almost at the end of the first trimester the nausea's better but the loss of appetite is not. i've lost about 5 pounds so far, but that's much better than the 10 pounds i lost with lana. if you know me, you know how much i love food. but these days, i have basically became a vegetarian. the only meat i will eat is seafood (crab, shrimp, etc. is ok), and once in a while, bacon (i think because it's not chewy like other meat). but my standard fare is cereal, pastries/pies, bread, potato chips and fruit. so basically carbs and fruit. i want to want food. so much. and i want to not be so hungry all the time. i had no appetite my entire pregnancy with lana, so hopefully this one will be better.

we asked lana what she wants to name the baby and she answered, without hesitation, "cereal." we ask her what she wants and one day it's a brother, the next day, it's a sister. then one day she said she wanted an older brother. not sure how to explain that it doesn't quite work that way. she is a very very jealous kid so we'll have to work on that throughout the pregnancy. but then she shows some really cute sweet moments - she lifts my shirt and kisses my belly and says "i kissed the baby" or she'll pat my belly and say "baby how are you?" i think she doesn't really feel threatened because the baby isn't real to her yet. but i can't even say hi to other kids without her throwing a fit, so if you have any tips/resources/advice on this front, i would appreciate it.

i am dying to find out the sex of this baby. i am actually 100% happy with either a boy or a girl. i just really wanted a girl and since we have lana, i'm good. but sh is convinced the baby is a girl (and even calls it a she), but i'm not convinced yet and want the debate to be put to rest. women these days seem to be able to find out as early as 12 weeks with new tests that are out, but since i'm not 35 (aka advanced maternity age) insurance won't pay for those tests. i guess we'll have to wait till the standard 18 or so weeks.

thanks everyone for all your words of well wishes. please pray for an appetite - that is my #1 prayer right now. in my mind, i want to take a huge bite of a five guys burger. but then i see a burger and i'm grossed out. #2 prayer is energy. it is so much harder being pregnant when you already have a kid to take care of. i thought it would be cool to post belly pics again and to put them side by side with my first pregnancy's belly pics, but i have lots of ideas that never come to fruition so we'll see about that. the point, though, would be to show that you pop so much faster with the second baby, seeing as how you're all stretched out and all. with lana i think i popped around 13 weeks but with this baby it was around 9 weeks. time to start hearing "oh so are you like 5 or 6 months pregnant?" soon. -_-

Recipe: Whole Wheat Yogurt Blueberry Muffins

This has (since all of last week) become a staple for breakfast in our house. Lana loves them and she doesn't realize they're actually sort of healthy with whole wheat and oats. I modified the recipe from the one on King Arthur's website. 

Ingredients:

1 3/4 cups whole wheat flour

1/2 cup rolled oats

3/4 cup brown sugar

3/4 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon 

1 1/2 cup blueberries (fresh or frozen)

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/3 cup vegetable or coconut oil

1 1/2 cups plain yogurt 

1. Preheat oven to 400 deg. Line muffin pan with cups or spray with butter. 

2. Whisk all the dry ingredients together. Add the blueberries and mix in. 

3. In a separate bowl, whisk vanilla, oil and yogurt together. 

4. Create a well in the middle of the dry ingredients and pour liquid ingredients in. Stir only to combine. It's ok if there are spots where the flour isn't wet or fully mixed (over-mixing will make the muffins tough/dense).

5. Spoon batter into muffin cups (using an ice cream scooper is perfect). Fill them all the way to the top - the recipe makes 12 big muffins. 

6. Bake for 18-20 minutes until toothpick or fork inserted into the middle of a muffin comes out clean. 

recipe: rice balls (주먹밥)

these rice balls are an easy way to get kids to eat their veggies. each time i make these i increase the ratio of veggies/meat to rice, and so far lana's still eating them. we'll see how far i can get before she decides enough is enough. ;)

ingredients (none of these measurements are exact - i'm just estimating):
about a cup and a half of rice (i mix white and brown)
3 tsbp of each of the following: carrots and broccoli (you can also use zucchini, onions, potatoes, chives, basically any vegetable that is able to be finely diced)
3 tsbp of finely chopped meat (i used turkey hot dog here, but you can also use steak/beef, ham, crabmeat, ground meats - if you use steak/beef/ground meat, marinate first in a little soy sauce and minced garlic so it has some flavor)
1 tsbp of olive oil
1 tsbp of sesame oil
salt, to taste
(makes about 5 small rice balls - lana (who's 2) can eat about 3 of these for a meal)

 

1. chop finely the carrots, broccoli and meat.

2. turn on stove to medium heat, add olive oil and saute the veggies and meat till soft. make sure to keep an eye on them - they are finely chopped so they burn very quickly.

3. put the rice, veggies and meat in a bowl. add sesame oil. 

4. mix everything together. add salt if desired.

5. once the rice balls are cool, get a piece of plastic wrap, put a heaping spoon of the rice mixture in the middle, then cover and twist until you have a tightly-formed ball that can hold its shape.

6. enjoy! it gets a little messy with the oil but lana loves eating these with her hands. in the future (whenever i get around to it, you know, with all the free time i have) i want to chop up the veggies/meat in huge batches and then freeze them so that as long as i have rice made, i can make these rice balls pretty quickly.

recipe: soft tofu soup (순두부 찌개)

any mommy of a toddler knows how hard mealtime is. it's so hard to consistently feed your toddler healthy and nutritious meals, without 1) feeding them the same thing 3x a week or 2) giving into their desires for pancakes and sausages and gummy bears every meal (a few of lana's current obsessions). lana's a pretty good eater, but one of the things that is constantly on my mind (and literally keeps me up at night) is the feeling that i need to continually find new recipes to expose her to a variety of foods.

i generally like to feed lana korean food. i think it's healthier (for the most part), and when armed with a set of basic ingredients, i can use them in different combinations/ways to come up with a wide variety of meals. recently, i've started googling in korean to come up with ideas for her meals. my korean reading skills are not very good so it takes about 5 minutes to read one blog post, but thank goodness for pictures. :)

one of my favorite things about korean food is the soups. you can make so many different kinds of soups with just a handful of ingredients, because they are all variations on the same basic thing. you usually start with a seafood or beef broth (or both), season with soy sauce/garlic/sesame oil, add some veggies, maybe an egg, and you got yourself a soup. lana loves korean soups so it has become my default for her dinners. it's also an easy way to get lana to eat veggies. it's easier to have her eat a piece of radish or spinach when it's nice and soft and has taken on the flavor of the broth than making her eat a piece of steamed broccoli.

today i made soft tofu soup. lana is ok with tofu, but doesn't love it. i don't think i've ever fed her soft tofu though, which is much softer than the regular block of tofu that we usually eat. here's the recipe:

ingredients:
one pack of soft tofu (looks like this):

3-ish cups of water
one piece of kelp (about 3" x 3")
2 oz of beef, cut into small cubes
diced zucchini (not sure how much, just a small bowl-full - so helpful, i know!)
diced onion (same small bowl-full)
one clove of garlic, minced
1 tsp soy sauce
1 tsp sesame oil
1 tsp olive oil
salt, to taste

1. put water in a pot with the kelp. boil about 15 minutes or so until the water takes on a yellowish tint. 

2. throw kelp out, pour stock into a bowl.

3. chop up the beef and veggies.

4. on medium-high heat, add the oil to the pot and saute the beef, zucchini, onions and garlic until beef is cooked through and veggies are soft.

5. add back the stock and add the soy sauce and sesame oil.

6. take tofu out of packaging gently (don't want to mush it up too much).

7. add tofu, bring to a boil. then simmer for a little bit until the flavors meld together. add salt if necessary. there might be some beef fuzz at the top - you can just skim it off with a spoon. if your toddler doesn't want it, you can always add some red pepper flakes and make it spicy for yourself. :)