32 weeks: nesting phase, labor dreams, begin.

i feel like it's time to start the countdown. 5 weeks till full term, 8 weeks till 40 weeks. lana, feel free to come out a little early.

two topics for today...

1. nesting. my officemate keeps teasing me that i am all about nesting these days. i think it's more mentally true than actually true. in my mind i am amazing - effortlessly handling all these creative endeavors to make lana's nursery a dream. in reality i am heavy and not very crafty. so we'll see how this goes, but i have two projects right now that i hope i can bring to fruition.

project 1 is repainting a used baby dresser i found on craigslist. sh took me to lowe's so i could buy all the supplies: sandpaper, wood filler, primer, brushes and paint. i figured that, with less money than it costs for a 3-dresser drawer from ikea, i could save a used piece of furniture and make something special and customized just for lana. i'm still in the sanding phase, and i've gotten a good amount done but man - it's not easy. it wiped me out last night. i'm hoping to put my 10-year-old cousin to work to help finish the sanding. she loves doing things with us (sh let her help paint the nursery until we said no more because we were redoing all the areas she was painting), so i said, "do you want to sand the dresser with me?" she goes "ok...what's sanding?" i said "it's something super fun." haha. i'll post before/after pics when i'm done (if they're presentable...).

project 2 is creating a mobile for the crib. i was browsing etsy to buy one when i realized that i could maybe make one for way less money. i don't have a sewing machine and i'm not very good at hand sewing so i looked for and found a very cute and simple bird template. the goal as of now is to sew 3 little birds, and then hang them from either a round wooden hoop or a branch. then i'll have to figure out a way to fasten it to either the crib or the wall/ceiling so that it hangs over the crib.

2. labor dreams. i had my first two nights ago. i had what i thought was a contraction, so i told sh and we headed to the hospital. i got admitted only to be told that it was a little too early to be there so i should go back home. i was like no! please don't kick me out! now that we're 8 weeks away, i've been thinking about the fact that i actually have to get this little booger out of me. i don't think i'm scared as much as just preoccupied with that thought - wondering how it'll go and what my experience will be. i'm trying not to read -too- much because i can get a little crazy when i over-research things, but i do want to be prepared and know what to expect. i think my biggest fear (besides the general level of pain) is...tearing. or getting an episiotomy. yikes. a question for moms - did you have a birth plan? was it oral or written out? i'm a little confused about this and how it actually plays out, but i found a good template online that has a bunch of topics that can be covered. i'm thinking of filling it out and giving it to my OB as well as the hospital.

in other pregnancy news, i saw the OB on monday and i now weigh 127 pounds! i can't believe i'll be entering the 130s territory soon - sounds scary. o_O lana weighs about 4 pounds now. she hiccups after every meal - without fail. she kicked so forcefully yesterday that i felt like my skin was going to rip and her foot was going to come out. i have major back pain and i can't sit or stand for long stretches, which makes the couch in the empty office next door to mine tempting.. i have outgrown maternity pants that "can be worn till the end of pregnancy!" i still don't eat crazy amounts but i had 3 chocolate chip cookies today and regretted it. and, i love our new place but i am NOT feelin' the stairs. not at all.

BUMP! (i feel like it's so big i need to use caps.)

31 weeks: dads rock

since sunday was fathers' day, i thought it'd be a good topic for this week's post. esp. bc i'm thinking a lot more about what it means to be a parent (mother or father) with lana coming soon.

my dad is in china all by his lonesome right now - my mom had visa issues so she had to come back in late april. and naturally, once she's here, she doesn't really want to go back. she hired my dad a housekeeper to clean, do the dishes, do the laundry, etc., put some easy-to-heat meals in the freezer, and basically said, peace!  i can't imagine being by myself in a foreign country (and not for vacation). i think sometimes he pretends to like it more than he actually does, just so we don't worry about him. but i think it helps that his employees have become his pseudo-family over there. he seems to really like them and vice versa. he talks about them fondly. for his birthday, they chipped in to buy him a really nice pen and he seemed really touched by it. in true asian style, they hang out after work together - they go out to eat, drink a lot (though my dad has the tolerance of a 10 year old girl so he said he pretends to drink by putting beer bottles up to his mouth and then not really drinking haha), play pool (apparently, he's the reigning champion) and sing karaoke. even though i'm sure it's fun sometimes, i know that he's really sacrificing a lot to provide for the family, in a country halfway across the world, where the culture can be completely bewildering, where he can barely speak the language and where, as my dad laments, "there are no peanut m&ms."

so i thought i'd just write a little about my dad. and instead of writing a long-winded tale, i like lists, so here's a list of random things about why my dad rocks:

-- when i was born, my dad was on an extended business trip in saudi arabia. apparently, my mom called him to say, "i just gave birth to our daughter," at which point he walked into his boss' office, quit, and flew home on the next flight.
-- as kids, my mom was the disciplinarian and my dad was the fun one, esp. since my mom was a stay-at-home mom. my dad hated the sound of us practicing violins since we sucked so he always let us (made us) stop practicing when he got home from work (much to my mom's chagrin and our delight).
-- until the day i graduated high school, every morning after i left for school my dad would make my bed, fold my pajamas, clean my desk and pick the lint off my carpet (on his hands and knees). i think i may get my analness from him.
-- my dad used to go on business trips a lot when we were kids. he always made sure to find time in his schedule to go shopping and buy us the coolest presents. i remember him arriving home and andy and me saying, "hi dad! where are our presents??"
-- my dad (and mom) never uttered a complaint when our hockey games were at 6am in eastern long island, which meant we'd have to wake up by 3:30am. i thought this was normal. but then i remember very clearly a conversation i had in 6th grade at lunch with my friends. it was one of those "what are you doing this wknd?" conversations and when i told them about the hockey game, they gasped and said, "wait, your parents are driving you at 3:30am to a hockey game on saturday morning?" i didn't know what the big deal was so i said, "yeah, so what?" and they responded with "uh, my parents would never EVER do that." hm, really. that's weird.
-- on the rare occasion my dad would go food shopping with us, he would let us buy whatever we wanted (sugary cereals, chocolate, candy, etc.). again, to my mom's chagrin and our delight. i get my sweet tooth from him, definitely. i should send him some peanut m&ms.
-- one thing i really appreciate about both my parents is that they aren't what many would call "typical" asian parents, in that they were always super affectionate with us and with each other. i don't think the lack of affection of other parents means they love their family any less, but i think it's important to show it and my parents really did that (even though when we were kids and saw my parents kiss, we'd go "EWWW GROSS STOP IT!!!").

and now that sh is gonna be a dad, i know he'll be awesome, just like my dad is. i'm really excited to see him with lana. he's already whipped now (and she's not even out yet) so i can only imagine what he'll be like once he sees her and gets to hold her and interact with her. i know it's going to be the hardest thing we've ever done, but it's also mind-boggling how awesome a gift from God it is to be able to have kids of our own to love, raise, drive us crazy, etc. let's just hope we don't screw it up too bad. maybe once you do it for a while it becomes natural, and you wouldn't even think twice about doing drastic things for your family, things like going to live in china.

in baby news, there's not much to say besides...i am very uncomfortable and i want her to come out. oh and our crib came today! it's so cute, i love it. also, for better or for worse, i have gone into diy mode full-force. we will see what the outcome is. o_O

bump!

30 weeks: omg 30 weeks sounds crazy

it's only one week after 29 but it feels like a major milestone, even more so than entering the third trimester. for some reason, the number scares me. maybe it's because i'm also turning 30 this year, a week before lana's due date - i am secretly hoping she comes more than a week early so that i can say i had my first baby at 29, not 30. -_-

on one hand, more and more i'm realizing that lana will be here soon, so my thoughts are slowly transitioning from being pregnant with her...to delivering her. which excites me, but also terrifies me. i mean, i want to see her so badly, but let's be honest, it's not going to be fun getting her here. but then on the other hand, i'm like, wait i still have 10 weeks left?? 10 more weeks for lana to grow bigger and bigger and bigger, whom i then have to push out?? in reality, she's not that big yet (only 2-3 pounds) but it feels like she's huge already because I'M huge. all the major growth happens in the last trimester (with the baby gaining about half a pound a week and the mom gaining about a pound a week), and i definitely can attest to that - i'm getting bigger (and feeling bigger) by leaps and bounds every couple days. it was harder sitting at work today than it was even last week. the weight and downward pressure from my belly onto my hips and back is getting progressively harder to manage. i have regular si joint pain on my right side, and my left hip clicks a lot when i walk. i had an OB appt yesterday - i am now at 125.5 pounds, and my belly measures 39 inches. o_O i stand in front of the mirror every night looking at my naked belly. it's half awe and half horror. then i say to sh, "holy crap. i'm huge!" and he's like, "yes, well, there's a lana pants in there." well, thanks for the info. my friend and i were saying, pregnancy makes you feel like you had the hottest body before you got pregnant, which is by no stretch of the imagination true, but you know, it's all relative. i am really scared that i won't fit into my old clothes. luckily, so far i haven't really gained any weight in my upper half so i'm not as worried about tops, but i'm scared that i won't fit into my suit pants or skirts again - they are pretty tight around the waist and fit just right. i will have to do the kate hudson training regimen after lana is born, because i too can afford to have someone watch the baby all the time while i work out 5 hours a day. yes.

speaking of working out, i've been neglecting to do it these days. i kept saying i'd be a yoga machine while pregnant but it's SO hard when all you want to do is sleep when you get home from work. so i've been trying to at least get a decent amount of walking in here and there (which is usually in the form of shopping) as well as stretching every night, esp. my legs, which always feel so stiff and weak. i'm also trying to do kegels regularly but i keep forgetting to. and i hate how every book you read says, "breathe normally as you do your kegels." um, i don't think that's physically possible. i can't breathe and do them at the same time. i end up just holding my breath and my head feels like it's going to explode. does anyone else have this problem? it can't just be me. but my fear of a bad labor and delivery keeps me trucking along and doing them, breathing or not.

bump!

29 weeks (+1 day): i think it's finally hitting me that i'm having a baby

i feel like it was just yesterday that i was saying "woe is me this winter is so cold!" and now it's 95 degrees. luckily, i walk a total of maybe 3 blocks on my new commute (since the bus stops about 2 blocks away from my house and i work across the street from port authority) so hopefully i won't have to suffer too much in this heat wave and the upcoming summer. women (including my mom) keep telling me their war stories of being 9 months pregnant in august...which will be me. o_O and i really don't do well in heat as it is. but i hope to be as graceful as a 9-month-pregnant woman can be in 90+ degrees and nasty humidity. one of my secret weapons is watermelon. i love watermelon normally but since i've gotten pregnant i can't get enough of it. which also causes middle-of-the-night peeing but i think that becomes a given regardless of what i'm eating so...i will keep enjoying my watermelon. from costco. i love costco.

i've finally gotten around to looking at my maternity leave forms for work and my last day at work will be august 9 (2 weeks before due date), which also happens to be our 3rd wedding anniversary. i guess we can go out somewhere nice for dinner that night and it'll be a double hurrah. :) it's really hitting me now that lana will be here soon. august 9 is less than 9 weeks away. i can't believe it. i definitely feel like i've crossed some sort of...threshold this past week as i entered the third trimester. all of a sudden it's gotten way harder to sit, breathe, move around (especially in bed at night). sometimes i'll wake sh up in the middle of the night if i need to switch sides because i really cannot roll over without causing myself some sort of abdominal pinching/stretching pain. so i'll hit him and he'll be like, "huh? what? oh ok" and then gently push me over to the other side. it's kind of sad but super helpful. i also would not be able to sleep without my body pillow. i HIGHLY recommend it - it's specially designed for pregnant women. it's weird-looking but really thoughtfully and well-designed. here's the link to it. since buybuybaby sells it, you can get it 20% off with one of their coupons. and it says you can use it for feeding once the baby's here too so it double-duties.

something funny that i've noticed the past few weeks is that lana almost exclusively prefers hanging out in the upper right side of my belly. she'll roll up there and nestle in around my ribcage until i push her back down but inevitably she'll mosey on back up. i have no idea what body part of hers it is, but sometimes it feels rock hard - maybe head? shoulder? though it can be extremely uncomfortable sometimes, i find it hilarious that even in the womb, she has her preferences. it's fun to imagine her as this little rambunctious baby with her own personality, stubbornly sticking to my right side. it's easy to forget that she's a real human being because we can't see her but it's almost like she's reminding me when she does this. sometimes, i can't believe at the end of all this there's going to be a new...person. i mean, if you think about it, making a baby is a lot easier than making...a lot of other things. -_-

bump!

28 weeks (+3 days): third trimester! thank jesus

it's the third trimester!! but that milestone was overshadowed by the move this week. we moved on tuesday to cliffside park nj. it's going well but it's absolutely exhausting. in my mind, i'm super productive - an unpacking and organizing machine. but my body does not follow suit (and it drives my ocd side crazy because i want to get it all done right away). i get so tired so quickly and my FEET KILL. add to that the fact that our brand new duplex's air conditioning wasn't working when it was an unseasonable 90 degrees out and i was pretty much useless. i woke up this morning and was like, why am i so itchy? i looked and i had basically broken out in a heat rash all over my torso. attractive, i know. i hadn't gotten a heat rash since i was 7 so i was like, why now? but when i talked to my mom about it, she said she was the same when she was pregnant with me - she developed heat rashes after not having gotten them since she was a child. (since i was born a week before lana's due date, our pregnancies are basically the same season-wise.) anyway - i can't believe how much there is to do still. sh and i took the whole week off to move but the week flew by and i can't believe it's already friday. but it'll be so nice once we're all settled in. i'm really enjoying the extra space, the driveway, the jacuzzi tub. tomorrow we're going to grill in our backyard. :)

yesterday i had my first appointment with my new OB. since we moved to nj i had to say bye to my OB in brooklyn which was sad because i really liked her. but i'm feeling much better now because my new OB is pretty awesome too. she was so thorough and had a whole shpiel prepared for me. her office is right next to hackensack medical center which, at least from the outside, looks amazing. the wonder of the suburbs - i've been living in the city for so long i forgot how medical complexes can look so clean and fresh.

so i have less than 12 weeks to go now. it sounds like a long time but i know she'll be here before i know it. i'm excited and scared at the same time (not scared of her coming - scared of labor - i made it very clear to my OB yesterday that i want all the drugs she got). lana is making her presence known more and more each day. it feels like she is constantly moving. she has her signature move - the double kick (punch?). i feel jabs on both sides of my belly at the same time. i love feeling her move, and i really feel like it's such an important part of the mother-daughter bonding experience. in other news - i am eating pretty well (but still not a fan of too much meat) but i definitely feel myself slowing down. my body feels sluggish, heavy and if i move too fast i feel stabbing and stretching pains. overall though, i feel pretty good, pains and aches aside. can't wait for lana pants to come. :)

bump!