Tuesday, June 14, 2011

30 weeks: omg 30 weeks sounds crazy

it's only one week after 29 but it feels like a major milestone, even more so than entering the third trimester. for some reason, the number scares me. maybe it's because i'm also turning 30 this year, a week before lana's due date - i am secretly hoping she comes more than a week early so that i can say i had my first baby at 29, not 30. -_-

on one hand, more and more i'm realizing that lana will be here soon, so my thoughts are slowly transitioning from being pregnant with her...to delivering her. which excites me, but also terrifies me. i mean, i want to see her so badly, but let's be honest, it's not going to be fun getting her here. but then on the other hand, i'm like, wait i still have 10 weeks left?? 10 more weeks for lana to grow bigger and bigger and bigger, whom i then have to push out?? in reality, she's not that big yet (only 2-3 pounds) but it feels like she's huge already because I'M huge. all the major growth happens in the last trimester (with the baby gaining about half a pound a week and the mom gaining about a pound a week), and i definitely can attest to that - i'm getting bigger (and feeling bigger) by leaps and bounds every couple days. it was harder sitting at work today than it was even last week. the weight and downward pressure from my belly onto my hips and back is getting progressively harder to manage. i have regular si joint pain on my right side, and my left hip clicks a lot when i walk. i had an OB appt yesterday - i am now at 125.5 pounds, and my belly measures 39 inches. o_O i stand in front of the mirror every night looking at my naked belly. it's half awe and half horror. then i say to sh, "holy crap. i'm huge!" and he's like, "yes, well, there's a lana pants in there." well, thanks for the info. my friend and i were saying, pregnancy makes you feel like you had the hottest body before you got pregnant, which is by no stretch of the imagination true, but you know, it's all relative. i am really scared that i won't fit into my old clothes. luckily, so far i haven't really gained any weight in my upper half so i'm not as worried about tops, but i'm scared that i won't fit into my suit pants or skirts again - they are pretty tight around the waist and fit just right. i will have to do the kate hudson training regimen after lana is born, because i too can afford to have someone watch the baby all the time while i work out 5 hours a day. yes.

speaking of working out, i've been neglecting to do it these days. i kept saying i'd be a yoga machine while pregnant but it's SO hard when all you want to do is sleep when you get home from work. so i've been trying to at least get a decent amount of walking in here and there (which is usually in the form of shopping) as well as stretching every night, esp. my legs, which always feel so stiff and weak. i'm also trying to do kegels regularly but i keep forgetting to. and i hate how every book you read says, "breathe normally as you do your kegels." um, i don't think that's physically possible. i can't breathe and do them at the same time. i end up just holding my breath and my head feels like it's going to explode. does anyone else have this problem? it can't just be me. but my fear of a bad labor and delivery keeps me trucking along and doing them, breathing or not.


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