27 weeks (+3 days): busy busy

just a few days away from the third trimester! sometimes it felt like it went fast, but mostly it felt like i crawled my way here. monday marked exactly 3 months to go (due date aug 23). when i say to sh "i've been pregnant forever!" he goes "be thankful you're not an elephant." -_-

work was pretty crazy the past couple weeks, but the deal closed wednesday so...hallelujah. good timing too because i'm taking off all next week for the move.

so we are full swing in packing mode. actually, let me rephrase. my mom's been in full swing in packing mode. what would we have done without her for this move? she has cleared out the fridge and freezer by cooking us random but yummy combinations of food (hot and ready to eat the second we walk in the door), she packs a few boxes every day (she even brought "work" gloves with her from china for the express purpose of packing for us), she takes care of sammie and she gives me foot massages at the end of the day when i'm totally spent. i don't want to imagine how we would've gotten through this whole process without her. she left for georgia on wednesday to visit my aunt and sh and i are like, "wait, we have to finish packing this ourselves now?" haha. we are only in a one bedroom and we don't have that much furniture but it feels like we have SO much stuff. we are moving on tuesday. so only a few more days before we say goodbye to brooklyn and hello to nj. i'm going to miss brooklyn a lot but i gotta say, the garage, the jacuzzi tub, the backyard, the deck, the convenience of driving wherever i want to go (hello mitsuwa!) - they'll help me get used to nj. :)

so now that i'm approaching the third trimester, the aches and pains are getting worse. foot and back pain are pretty regular, and my legs are always aching. they feel really weak. i'm constantly stretching them but they don't feel stretched. i've also experienced a couple blackouts (one monday actually) and that's no fun. they both happened at the subway platform, but thank god i didn't get on the subway. on monday i was standing there waiting for the train when my heart started racing all of a sudden. then i got chills, then i felt sweaty (like a hot flash). because it'd happened once before, i knew the blackout was coming. i talked to my OB about this and she said it's common for pregnant women to experience this because so much of our blood gets diverted to the baby. she said the best thing to do is lie down and elevate the legs and also eat something if my blood sugar is low. so i basically left the subway station and went straight back home. i lied down on the couch with my legs elevated and took a quick nap. a dull headache and some dizziness stayed with me all day but the blackout was averted. she's like a little vampire in there, taking all my blood!

so many people around us are having babies, and when i see the pictures of the babies in the delivery room, i'm like, aww how nice, but it doesn't really hit me that that'll actually happen to us. there's still so much of a reality gap between me right now (despite feeling big and heavy and achy) and me post-delivery holding a baby. it hasn't sunk in yet, but maybe it will once we move and set up the nursery. everything's going really great though, and i'm just so so thankful to God for the smooth pregnancy so far. it's so exciting to see our families so eager for her arrival - she's going to be one spoiled baby being the first grandchild on both sides. o_O

bump! gah i feel so big!

26 weeks: nursery dreams

i hesitate to say it because...being a lawyer you learn quickly that nothing is really a done deal until you hold the executed contract in your hands...but it seems like we found a place to live. lana may not be homeless after all. :) thank jesus! after a lot of heartache and anxiety and waiting, we've signed a lease for a duplex in cliffside park. we're just waiting for the landlord to sign (who, of course, is away in florida this week and "doesn't do email"). so you know then that i have nightmarish daydreams of her backing out a week before june 1 rolls around. anyway, the place is big, new (and therefore, CLEAN), bright...has a washer/dryer, a garage, a backyard! things i took for granted growing up but which have become unfathomable amenities for the NYer version of me. the landlord made a huge stink about sammie but we've been able to negotiate around it (read: we paid more money...that little mutt rules the show and she knows it).

since the house hunting process is now (hopefully) done, my thoughts have presently drifted over to the nursery. :D i am so excited to set it up, esp. now that i know what the room looks like. i am a complete design blog junkie. i am on apartmenttherapy.com every day, and nowadays, also ohdeedoh.com, which is dedicated to kid-related design.

as of now, i am envisioning the nursery colors to be white, natural wood, gray, with lime green accents.

this is what i have lined up to buy for the nursery in terms of the essential furniture items:

crib - "nest crib" from room and board. it was really important for me to buy a solid wood american-made crib that i knew would be sturdy and last for subsequent baby/ies.

dresser - "hemnes" from ikea. i figured we don't need an expensive dresser for the baby. we can place a changing pad on top of this so it double duties as a changing table. i may change out the knobs for cuter ones.

rocking chair - "empire rocker" from nurseryworks. this was my splurge...i actually already bought it. i saw it on gilt for way cheaper than the list price, so i jumped on it. it fits the gray color scheme perfectly. :)

as i continue shopping for nursery items i'll post them and it'll be awesome to post pictures of the full nursery once it's all set up!

bump!

25 weeks (+ 4 days): alien!

i tried blogging yesterday but blogspot was down. it's been a busy week. i don't have time to blog much (read: i completely veg out and pass out when i get home in the evenings) so here's a quick summary of the things i want to get down:

1. we have not found a place to live yet in nj. we are 2 weekends away from the weekend we need to move. i am sort of freaking out. we have a few appointments this morning. please pray that we get a place! or lana will be homeless. no i'm not a drama queen.

2. lana is SO active. i can now see parts of her body stick out of my belly. it's so crazy. sometimes i'll feel all this wriggling and moving and all of a sudden there's a lump sticking out the side of my belly. (she prefers the right side.) if i poke it, it usually goes back in. haha. it's like a little game between us. :)

3. sometimes i forget that being pregnant means i will be a parent soon. that sounds weird. that sounds not right. sometimes i feel bad for lana.

4. i have gained a total of 6 pounds since i got pregnant. it feels like WAY more than that. the doc said my goal should be to hit 130 by the end.

bump! (what i wear changes the appearance of how big my belly is. but trust me, i'm growing)

24 weeks: o_O

i skipped a week, i know. last week was pretty busy - the first half of the week was busy at work so i came home and crashed. wednesday, sh and i went to pick up my mom from the airport. we didn't get back till after 11pm (is there ever a time when jfk doesn't have arrival delays?). my mom was on a plane for over 18 hours, came into our apartment and started cleaning the kitchen. i was like, "mom! you'll have plenty of time to do that later. relax!" "i'm not tired at all!" seriously, moms are the best. i thought to myself, will i love lana enough to do that? i don't know! i hate cleaning the kitchen! i'll pay for a housekeeper. :) my excuse for not blogging for the rest of the week is i was hanging out with my mom. saturday was sammie's bday party (pictures will be up on fb soon, thanks to andy rhee, doggy photographer!) and saturday night to sunday night we went down to nj to visit my aunt.

there are a lot of things running through my mind lately. april has been a hard month professionally, physically, emotionally and mentally. my body is starting to feel heavier, more tired, more achy. back pain and foot pain are regular parts of my day now. but the physical hardships are manageable so far because i'm prepared for them and know that they're a normal part of pregnancy - a part of pregnancy i would gladly go through to have a healthy baby at the end. and i think a lot of what i'm struggling with are normal struggles, ones that have nothing to do with being pregnant, but being pregnant and tired and achy and hormonal exacerbates those struggles. but at the same time, the anticipation of being able to see lana soon makes things easier too. i guess it's give and take.

i have a lot of things i want to get on paper but don't have the time right now. i think i need to process my thoughts and take some time to put decent words to them instead of creating an all-out unedited stream-of-consciousness mess. until then, i saw this recently and both laughed out loud and cried within a 2 minute span. it's so awesome. it's called 'a mother's prayer for her child' by tina fey.

“First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels. What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen.Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, that she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back. “My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.
Amen.”

bump! (i don't post for a week and i practically double in size! i can't believe that's me. but do keep in mind i just ate a big dinner and some more cold stone. oh, and i measured my waist - 37 inches. holy crap.)