Monday, March 31, 2014

25 weeks.

i was 25 weeks pregnant yesterday. this post is going to be shorter than usual because i am not feeling so hot. i think i complained a couple weeks ago about feeling pain in my pelvic area. well this past week the pain, which was more localized right under the belly (in the pubic bone area), started radiating out towards the hips (where legs meet torso) and even down the thighs. it also got more intense. i went to the OB on friday and she said i have "pubis symphysis diastasis"…or something like that. essentially, when your body gets ready to have a baby, it releases extra hormones so that the ligaments loosen and the pelvic bones separate to make room for the baby to come out. in some lucky women, the hormones go into overdrive prematurely. they're not sure why but they think it may have something to do with the size/position of the baby (and they've been saying from the beginning that the baby is big). i also think i'm carrying this baby lower than i was carrying lana. anyway, so basically the two sides of my pelvic bones have already separated even though i have 15 weeks to go (and when i don't even need them to separate since i'm having a c-section -__-). the OB said there isn't much we can do since i can't take any real painkillers while pregnant. she said "don't walk or stand much." um, ok. she said if it gets super serious the only real options are either steroid injections, which are obviously not recommended during pregnancy, or bedrest. i'd go crazy on bedrest. generally, mornings are better, but by evening, i am in a lot of pain and the pain spreads to even my tailbone and butt. it's been pretty rough the past few days, so prayers would be appreciated! not sure how i'm going to last 15 weeks like this. the other really hard part is i'm so new at my job, and i hate to already be missing work. everyone is so understanding and so awesome, but i still feel so bad. i'm hoping it is just a phase right now and that it'll start hurting less really soon.

bump (is killing me)!

Sunday, March 23, 2014

24 weeks. spring! just kidding.

today i am 24 weeks pregnant. i am getting tired. really tired. so i will be employing bullet point lists more and more. by week 35 i expect i will not be writing anything coherent at all. it'll be something like:
- ice cream.
- beached whale.
- get out.

this week's highlights:
- i am still eating pretty well - i'm getting less and less picky, but still no pork or chicken. i did eat 5 guys on fri night though and it was pretty dang good. i don't think i'm eating quite as much as i normally do (when not pregnant) but at least there's steady improvement.

- my dessert eating is out of control. i should probably scale back but i have zero desire to have self-control in that area.

- i went to the OB this past friday and i finally broke the pre-pregnancy weight barrier! i am now +2 pounds. but the OB was like, your baby's big! so the baby is over a pound and you've gained less than a pound. -_- it kind of boggles my mind that my babies end up big because of how little i eat throughout my pregnancies. lana was 7 lbs 11 oz and she was almost a week early, and i ate even less during that pregnancy than this one. i guess it's genetic? and with this one being a boy i'm scared that he'll be even bigger.

- breathing this past week has not been very good. may be time to make another appointment with my pulmonary doc, but as i've been using my inhaler as needed, i'm a little skeptical about what they can do for me. my concern is that as i get bigger and baby pushes up more and more, i feel like the breathing will only get worse.

- even though i've only gained 2 pounds, my belly is getting really big, and i think it's way bigger than it was at this point with lana. i should do a side-by-side pic comparison...someday. the back pain has started and i'm starting to feel myself waddle. i'm really scared about the fact that i still have 16 weeks to go...i am bracing myself to hear "omg are you pregnant with twins??" near the end of this pregnancy.

- my dad is coming this friday!

- they say spring is here but other than yesterday, it don't feel like it yet. but nevertheless, spring cleaning has started in the choe household. i've decided to break it up into manageable chunks by focusing on one room/area every week or two - that way we should be done by summer! -_- i love organizing though, so despite the fact that my body is not being very cooperative and spring cleaning always means running up and down our steep flight of stairs over and over, i'm excited to clear out the crap (there's so much crap!) and get this house organized, clean and ready for stello. this week's room is lana's. i've pulled out all her clothes from 0-1yrs and divided them up into three piles: 1) garbage, 2) donation and 3) lend to friends. the 1-2yrs clothing is divided up by age in stackable bins in her closet. there's a separate bin filled with clothing/blankets/etc. that we can reuse for stello (aka are not screaming hot pink). it also helps when grandmama is here to help with all this.

i still want to do a deep clean to get all the dust out of lana's room, but since it's getting cold again this week (UGH) and i don't want to open the windows when it's 35 degrees out, that'll probably (hopefully, maybe) happen next weekend.

BUMP. this poor t-shirt should be retired.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

23 weeks

sunday marked 23 weeks. funemployment officially ended this past week for me, sad to say. but my first week at the new job was really good, if not, eye-opening. it was basically a lot of "whoa, this place is so different from a law firm!" going on in my head. it makes me realize how conditioned (brainwashed) i was the past four years working at a law firm. some key points that i wanted to mention (in no particular order, though i suspect it will be clear which ones are more important to me): 
- no gmail. :( :( :( :( :( 
- the floor clears out by 5:30. i was asked by random people why i was still here at 6:30. i mean, the night is young at 6:30! 
- i was put on a project, and when i asked the compliance person what the timing was, he chuckled and said "just keep it on your radar." ??? does. not. compute. 
- i don't have a secretary anymore. there's an admin in our department but the poor guy supports 30 people so no more "please print this for me thx" emails. i know, boo hoo. leave me alone. it's very annoying when you have to print dozens of documents and figure out where one ends and the next begins!  
- every friday is casual day. i came in last friday and noticed it wasn't just jeans day, it was a legit casual day. i mean, people in t-shirts and sneakers. i'm so excited! not that i have anything to wear. i hate maternity clothes. so much. 
- the corporate lingo is so new to me. thank goodness i have HR guru jane cha to help me figure it out. but orientation is called "onboarding" and conferences are called "offsites" and all these other confusing words i've never really heard of? 
- my office has a glass wall. no more naps, random stretching/yoga and changing clothes in the secrecy of my office. :( i'm guessing this also means i won't be able to pump here, so that's kind of sucky. but i think the pumping room is across the hall so i'll have to check it out (that is, if i even end up pumping - with lana, i lasted 3 days...). 
- I. DON'T. HAVE. TO BILL. i keep wanting to write down the time i spent on things and then catch myself with a stupid grin on my face because I DON'T HAVE TO! 
- i'm the CLIENT. :D we had an internal meeting to discuss a project, and we barely even looked at the document outside counsel prepared. while on the conf call, my boss mouthed to me "i didn't even read this." afterwards, she said "ok we'll call outside counsel next week, tell them to tell us what's next." it's so weird to not be the one who's drafting all these docs...and so awesome. 
- the business folks want answers quickly and, as my coworker said, "you don't have time to be perfect." that sounds a little scary, coming from a firm where you are expected to be perfect, find the answers and anticipate the client's follow-up questions and have those answers as well. i suspect it involves a lot of getting context and disclaimer/cautious language so the business folks don't run off and say "the lawyer said i can do this!" -_-
i'm sure these revelations will keep happening for a while before i settle in, but overall things have been good. learning a lot about the company, the business, refreshing my memory about capital markets deals since it's been a while since i've worked on them. 
another big event to happen this week is lana is potty training. after hawaii, grandmama park has revved up the potty training efforts and i think lana is almost trained now. she still has accidents here and there (usually we just don't get to the potty fast enough) but the past two nights, she didn't pee once in her diaper and woke up in the middle of the night to go. we even went to church diaperless this past sunday. we tried to put on a diaper but she refused, so we went to the potty once upon arriving at church and once before leaving to go home, and she was completely accident-free the whole time. i am SO relieved to get even 3-4 months of diaper freedom before the onslaught of 12-20 diapers a day starts again for stello. i've noticed this past week that i'm eating a lot better. i'm still picky, but a little less so, and i actually want to eat sometimes. and my appetite for desserts/sweets has skyrocketed. -_- my next OB appointment is wednesday and i suspect i am definitely in the positive weight gain range now, so that's good. 
no bump pic bc i am typing this up on my phone...but i am feeling huge. i can't believe I am this big already - i have 17 weeks to go!!! the worst right now is that pain right below the belly, where the legs meet the torso. i don't remember that well but i do feel like this sorta pain is happening earlier than it did with lana. -_- is this baby gonna come out ginormous? 

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

21.5 weeks - hawaii recap!

this past sunday marked 21 weeks into the pregnancy (confirmed at the ultrasound this morning - more about that later). we just got back yesterday from hawaii and had a really awesome time. a little recap:

we flew direct from newark to honolulu, and then flew a small plane from honolulu to kauai. it felt like forever. lana was so good the whole way and barely even whined, which is pretty impressive for a 2.5 yr old since even i was whining by the end of the trip. from the time we stepped out of our house to the time we checked into the hotel was 19 hours. it probably could've taken 17 but you know how it is in hawaii - everything's on island time. like why does it take an hour to get a rental car when there is barely a line?? -_-

we spent 5 nights in princeville at the westin resort. i was worried bc they say princeville rains a lot in the winter, but it stayed away for the most part and only rained at night when we were sleeping. the weather was awesome and the high was around 80 degrees every day. kauai was just what i needed - away from people/civilization, quiet (except for the damn chickens), tranquil, warm, and an amazing view of both the mountains and the ocean. i haven't been on a vacation like this since our honeymoon - one where you're supposed to just sit back and do nothing. i didn't realize how much i missed it till i did it again. i obviously love all the trips i've been on since our honeymoon but this time i really needed a vacation where we had no plans and spent the whole day just vegging around the resort. the icing on the cake was not having a job! out of habit i kept checking my phone for emails and then remembered oh wait, i have no work emails to check. :D

i had a list of things that you're supposed to do on kauai, but we ended up not doing most of them bc 1) we were too lazy to and 2) being in the car a lot felt like such a waste of precious time. everyone says waimea canyon is a must-see, but it is also a 4 hour round trip from princeville. lana was also not a very happy camper in the car (for some reason, she's so good in our car but hates cars that aren't ours) so it wasn't worth the stress. the most we did was drive to kapaa twice for food, which was about a 30 min ride from princeville.

after 5 nights, we flew back to honolulu. we stayed 4 nights (was supposed to be 3, but ended up staying another night because of the "storm" that was supposed to hit the east coast) in waikiki. it was a nice constrast from the seclusion of kauai - it was city but not too city, and had a fun hustle and bustle to it. again, we barely left waikiki. i had the usual list of places to go to like pearl harbor, dole plantation, north shore, etc. but like in kauai, we were content to just stay close to the hotel, walk around waikiki and swim at the pool. lana hates (more like, is terrified of) sand so we didn't go to the beach other than to just look at it. the food was so good - i'm going to miss all the fresh pineapple and the desserts in particular (lapperts, leonards, waiola shave ice, the coconut pudding, halo-halo, etc. etc.). did i tell you how much i ate on this trip? it's like i never had a problem eating this whole pregnancy. i think it's safe to say i hit my pre-pregnancy weight and then some. i doubt it'll be the same now that i'm home but it was nice to be able to eat well for a week and a half. i also felt really great overall - maybe it was bc i was outside getting vitamin D (usually i'm really deficient), breathing good air, getting some exercise. maybe it's a sign i need to move to hawaii. -_- unfortunately, there are probably all of 2 corporate law openings there.

the trip was not really a babymoon since sh and i didn't get much alone time, but bc my mom was there we got help with lana and didn't feel the need to really get away on our own. we had so much fun seeing lana have a blast swimming and seeing new things. my mom also had a great time (maybe the best out of all of us haha). so we're home now and i am freezing. it's not even really that cold today but i really feel like it's taking me some time to adjust back to these temperatures. i'm also super jetlagged but luckily i have 5 more days before i start my new job. this morning, i went to my 20 week ultrasound. the doctor confirmed my due date of 7/13 - she said the baby is on the big side (about 3 days ahead of schedule), but it's not enough to change my due date to 7/6. she also confirmed the last ultrasound tech's hunch that the baby is a boy. :) sh was convinced since before i even got pregnant that #2 would be a girl, so we even had a girl named picked out and everything (stella). but after the 12 week ultrasound tech said she was pretty sure the baby was a boy, we just started calling him...stello. but we have no idea what his real name is going to be - why are boy names so much harder to pick out than girl names? i could seriously name the next five (hypothetical) baby girls in 10 minutes but i cannot be 100% sure of one boy name.

below is the baby's profile pic:

and my 21.5 week bump pic (and looks like someone snuck into the pic just as i took it):