change of plans. (written jan 3, 2010)

for this blog, at the least. this blog evolved from originally being a (short-lived) running blog to a blog that sorely lacked any real purpose (or posts) and now to this: a pregnancy blog. of course, you are reading this way after i wrote it since i waited till the end of my first trimester to make these posts public. the baby's due date is august 23, 2011, just a week after my birthday and two weeks after our wedding annivesrary. (as sh says, i am gonna be one poor man in august.)

the day we found out: my mom was staying over at our place for a week. sammie got sick and started puking and peeing all over the house (my poor (canine) baby--must distinguish now), including on the new duvet. so my mom and i went out that morning (dec 18 to be exact) to the laundromat to wash the duvet and the comforter. we were walking around killing time waiting for the wash cycle to end when all of a sudden it occurred to me that i was 4 days late (reminds me of the scene in austin powers where frau farbissina says "herr doktor, i'm late." dr. evil: "no, you got here right on time." haha). i said to my mom, "i think we should drop by the drugstore." mom: "ok, what for?" me: "um, well, a pregnancy test. i'm about 4 days late." mom: "i guarantee it. you're pregnant." so i get one of those two-pack tests - one uses the lines (one line, not pregnant, two lines, pregnant) and the other is the digital read out (yes or no). we go back home and i use the "line" test. i'm standing in the bathroom just staring at the test. the first line comes through really clear. i wait another minute. then this super faint second line comes through. it's so faint i almost feel like i'm imagining seeing it. at this point my heart is racing like crazy and i open the bathroom door and look at my mom. sh has no idea this entire time that i even bought/took a pregnancy test and is lying on the couch clueless and playing nba 2k11. i said, "i think i'm pregnant." sh looks up with this "i just saw a ghost" look and my mom just starts smiling. then i said, "but i'm not sure. this second line is SO faint, like, almost not there." my mom and i read the instructions and it says "one line may be much fainter than the other." my mom says, "see? it can be fainter. i told you you're pregnant." but i didn't feel totally certain. so i waited an hour (i had no more pee left--it was the longest hour of my life) and then used the second test. it's a little harder to dispute a digital read-out that says "yes" with a smiley face staring at you. i couldn't believe it. i go to hug sh and apparently said ghost was still around because he was completely stoic and expressionless. i think he went into shock. actually, it's been a few weeks since we found out but i think he's still a little in shock, haha.

so it's been about three weeks since we found out. i am now 7 weeks pregnant. i've been ok overall. no puking (yet and hopefully never) but bouts of nausea and food aversions definitely come in waves. the food aversions are hard because come mealtime, i'm racking my brain for something to eat that doesn't cause me to feel sick to my stomach. but the hardest thing is probably how exhausted i feel. even simple activities make me feel fatigued, like putting laundry away or taking a shower. i start breathing like an obese person, my heart starts racing and i get light-headed. i hear this all goes away, for most women at least, once the second trimester comes so i'm looking forward to things normalizing. in a way i'm lucky to have gotten pregnant around the holidays because work slowed down and we had vacation time. i'm a little worried about how i'm going to fare at my high-stress long-hours job with this pregnancy, but i know i need to trust that God will take care of me and baby during this time.

now, some exciting fun facts about the baby: baby L (L stands for the name sh already picked out for the baby--it's a girl's name since he is 100% convinced it's a girl) is now the size of a grape. the baby's heart is already beating (which i can't get over). arms, fingers, legs and toes are developing and becoming more defined. eyes, ears and nose are forming as well as baby's teeth. our first prenatal visit is this wednesday so we're really excited to talk to the doctor and find out more about what's going on with baby. i still can't believe that this is really happening sometimes. does this mean i have to act like an adult now?